For my entire life, I’ve had four grandparents. I would spend a lot of my time throughout the year with my mom’s parents in Maryland, but sometimes, we would take a vacation to see my dad’s parents in Greece. I’ve been to Greece about ten times now, and it was always great seeing my family when I went. The only problem was that as time moved forward, my paternal grandfather’s health moved backwards. He couldn’t remember myself, my father, or anyone else for that matter. His health was badly declining in 2016. I realized that his health was deteriorating, but as a naive 15 year old, I thought I still had years with him. As it turns out, I had no time left.

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     The last time I saw my grandfather was August 2016. I knew we wouldn’t be coming back to Greece for at least two years because flights are expensive, so this was a hard goodbye. As I sat there saying goodbye, my grandfather looked up at me and said my name. The first time in two months. Did he remember me? Or did he just remember my name after hearing it throughout the summer? It didn’t matter to me. I was so happy to hear my name come out of his mouth. It was reassuring for me. My brain was blocking me from seeing the pain and discomfort in his eyes. I just wanted to believe there was more to his life. I wanted to see the bright side, and not think of the negatives. If only I knew that would be the last time I heard my name come out his mouth.

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     My grandfather passed away on June 27, 2017. I was in Disney World. The guilt I felt was so immense. I wish I could have done something different. I wish I was back here in Pennsylvania with my dad. I wish I was in Greece. I wish I had said “I love you” one more time. I shouldn’t have said “Goodbye.” I wasn’t ready to say goodbye. But that was it. That was the last thing I ever said to him. So, maybe, by those words, he thought I was ready for him to go. I hope he passed with the thought that his family would be okay, but I just wished I could go back in time to that summer, say a couple more things, and spend a little more time with him.

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     I believe in never leaving anything unsaid. Unless your words will harm that person, why would you not say it? Words are how we communicate, if you stay silent, no one will know your thoughts. You never know when you won’t see someone again. Today could be their last day on this earth. Today could be your last day. Why leave them wondering how you really feel. Do not end up like me, feeling guilt over your lack of words. Forgive yourself and change it for the next time. Realize what you can do differently, and do it. Live everyday as if it is your last, because you never know when it will be.